I would sooner live in Keswick than the finest town in the world.

After dinner we went to my brother Chad’s house. We had to drop off a a text book. When we got there, my brother and his girl friend were at their neighbours, sitting on lawn chairs, drinking beer and having a good time. By the time we parked the car and walked over to say hello, someone had already gone inside and grabbed us a can of beer each. We sat and talked for at least an hour.
One conversation we had involved my brother Chad. He drove a lawn tractor over because he didn’t want to walk – it was all of thirty feet between therir house and his – and there was a bottle of beer in the cup holder.
“Can you get busted for drinking and driving a lawn tractor?” I asked.
Chad insisted that operating any motorized vehicle while under the influence was against the law. I wondered what the legal definition of a motorized vehicle was, because that would determine the rule of law.
“I can tell you that there was someone from around here that got a ticket for operating a tractor under the influence.” That came from my brother’s neighbour, Brian. He has lived in Keswick, on the same plot of land owned by his father, for his entire life.
“A while back, there was a guy that would drive his tractor up the Queensway, pickup a case of beer, and then take it home. He did it so much and so often that no one ever thought twice about it. Then he got married and had a couple of kids. He never got his license because he considered himself and farmer and figured he never needed one because he could take his tractor where-ever he wanted to go.
“So, on the weekends when he and his new family wanted to go out and meet with friends or family, this guy would then hook a trailer up to his tractor, put a Lazy boy sofa on the trailer, load up his wife and children, and go driving around town. Eventually, he got pulled over and was given a ticket for driving under the influence.”
I don’t think Brian exactly said this stopped this guy and his tractor adventures – the real point was that he knew someone who had got a ticket for operating a tractor under the influence. He had one more funny thing to say about it all.
“He came from a family that owned a lot of land.” Brian guessed 160 acres or more. He pointed with his finger and mentioned landmarks in town that I would be famliar with. Landmarks that would have taken half an hour or forty five minutes for me the drive around and back. That was a lot of land.
“So they were basically millionaires around the time that he got his ticket, so he could afford it. But here was a guy, who could have almost anything he wanted within reason, and he insisted he was a farmer and until he was told otherwise, thought nothing of not having a license and thought driving his family around in a trailer pulled by a tractor was totally okay. Doesn’t do much for the image of what people think of Keswick.”
On the contrary. That makes Keswick beautiful.

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