I’ve got a monkey on my back and I’m jonesing bad

Two Scenes

A great deal of junk can collect in your head if you don’t stay focused on writing.

It’s why I have to stick to one piece at a time, otherwise you get distracted by all the wonderful possibilities going on around you.

Starting a story for me is like how I remember a cigarette tastes at just the right moment, or how it feels when you connect with the sweet spot on a golfball or a baseball, or losing your virginity, or having sex with the person you love. It jacks all those endorphins into my brain and conditions me to start all the stories I want and discourages me from finishing them because where’s the fun in that? So, I try to make it as fun as I can to keep me going so I can finish at least one thing.

I’ve got a portfolio of about twenty stories I like and wouldn’t be afraid to share with someone who wanted to read them. I’ve got a folder of 617 stories that I’ve started and haven’t finished. I’ve got one story that I want to finish by October 31st of this year and it’s not looking too good but it’s so, so easy to give up.

So, I gave myself a shot in the arm. After 5 days I let myself start and finish one small piece in order to get me excited again. I’ve had to resist the urge to start other stories that have promise, the monkey on my back trying to convince me that no one is going to read my current, longer story anyway. That’s is juvenile and laughable and no one will pick it up and if anyone is going to read it I am going to have to spend my own money to publish it and my own time to promote it and ultimately this current story is a waste of time. Why not try something new? Something fresh. No one else will mind at all if you do.

But no. I wrote this today. And I will post it today. And then tomorrow, back to schedule.


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