30 Pounds, 8 weeks

Losing weight is easy.

All you have to do is change every, single habit in your life. At least, that’s how it worked for me.

I stopped ignoring my doctor’s suggestions that I lose weight after he showed me the rising line chart of my blood pressure alongside my Framington Hear Study score relative to my family’s history of heart disease and diabetes. After seeing all of that, I envisioned the top of a dresser and night table completely covered by an assortment of amber coloured containers with white caps, with my name being the only thing on the labels I could pronounce and all of them were what kept me alive. I imagined being a bitter old man who could not enjoy life because of them.

“You need to lose weight,” my doctor told me.

“I have no idea how to do that,” I answered. So I had to find out. And on January 18th, I started to make a change.

I stopped eating anything that grew underground. Stopped eating all baked goods and grains. Stopped drinking beer. Stopped eating chicken with the skin on (including chicken wings). Stopped eating cookies and drinking milk. Stopped drinking milk and eating cheese. Stopped adding salt to what I cooked. Stopped eating sugar and all fruits that are sweet. I started eating all the protein I can stomach and started to keep what carbohydrates I did eat under 10 grams per serving. While I was at it, I cut 500 calories out of my diet every day. Oh, and drink at least 2 litres of water every day (or at least until my pee had a very soft, yellow tinge to it – and to cut back when it went completely clear. Yes, maybe that’s a bit too much info, but that’s how you know when you’ve hit ’tilt’ for water consumption).

I would have give up after the first day if it wasn’t for my wife. She didn’t skip a beat. She made sure all temptation was out of my way and stocked the fridge with everything that fell within the confines of my diet. She embraced every meal I ate with gusto and cheered me on every minute.

I lost three pounds the first week. And then a couple more the next. Couldn’t see a damned thing, but I started to feel a bit better.

Then I met the trainer assigned to me. You see, what I neglected to tell you, is that while I wasn’t in a stare down with Death, but I’d be lying if I didn’t feel like it loomed over me like the “Jurassic Park” T-Rex in the rear view mirror, gaping maw and all. So, I was assigned a trainer to help me with my advanced condition.

At that point my schedule was three meals a day with two snacks in between, all of the dietary restrictions I noted above, one night a week for a detailed weigh in and two nights at the gym. This, in addition to my ordinary schedule of waking up for four a.m. and being home for six p.m. when I wasn’t at the gym or being scanned through the week.

I won’t drop my trainer’s name, but I will say, the kid is frigging amazing. He gave me the exercises, the guidance, and most importantly, the encouragement to keep going and keep pushing me to do more, up to and including my last ‘workout’ this past Friday, which lasted close to two hours.

Two hours! Me! And six months before that point, the only running I would do is if The Beer Store was closing on a Friday night and I had nothing to drink for the weekend. Now? I run enough to require two pairs of shoes – one pair for the gym, the other for running outside. My wife went with me to get both pairs of those, too, in addition to my workout wear. My daughter bought me a workout shirt she thought was cute because the ‘Y’ in gym looked like it was lifting weights.

With that being said, effective tomorrow, eight weeks to the day, I am thirty pounds lighter with another twenty to go.

Like I said, it was easy,

Step one, fifteen years ago I chose chose the right woman to spend the rest of my wife with and then, step two, on January 18th, 2018, I changed every habit in my life.

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